The Love-Shy Project
HOME SURVEY BOOKS ASPERGER'S & AUTISM Passive Male Syndrome
In our society during the human mating ritual the male is the aggressor and the female is the passive and receptive one. While in the past decades it is becoming more acceptable for women to more aggressively pursue men, there is still the strong instinct for the woman to be the pursued. At minimum it is the man who must make the first move and who must initiate the first romantic kiss. The problem comes when some men have developed the inclination to be passive and want, if not expect, the woman to act as aggressor.
Dr. Gilmartin uses the term "male lesbian" to describe this condition. This is a poor term that only serves to confuse, as the condition has nothing to do with homosexuality. Passive Male Syndrome is a much better label. Although some may like the term "submissive male", these males generally do not necessarily want to be dominated. The essence of the syndrome is that an afflicted male is heterosexual, but one part of his brain is wired as a female's. Gilmartin claims this to be a definitive condition that should be included in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, or DSM, as a diagnosable condition.
Since little research has been done on this condition, it is difficult at this time to ascertain whether the condition is due to a miswiring of the male brain as a fetus or whether environmental factors cause what would be a purely psychological condition. Since male homosexuality is due to some "miswiring" before birth, it seems likely that a similar cause would be at play here. Just as male homosexuals are not usually lacking in testosterone, it is assumed neither are passive males. Because some male homosexuals take on the role of the passive or receptive person in a relationship, one likely needs to include these men in a full investigation of passive males.
While passivity is a common feature for male love-shys, not every male love-shy technically has passive male syndrome. Gilmartin estimates one third of male love-shys have this condition, but I think his estimate is too high. It is unknown how many males in general have this condition.
Although there is no cure for this condition, the sufferer can work on approaching and being more assertive with women. Since women have become more assertive these days, passive men should be able to be more aggressive also. One would think that all that is needed is for an aggressive female to pursue a passive male. While this may occasionally happen, it seems aggressive females can often hook up with almost any man. Most passive males do not want a dominatrix in black leather with a whip. Instead these men just want a "normal" women who will initiate things.