My Love-Shyness
& Asperger's BLOG
Can Autism and Shyness Create a Mass Murderer?
On April 16, 2007 Seung-Hui Cho, a 23-year-old undergraduate student at Virginia Polytechnic Institute and State University—known as Virginia Tech—murdered 32 fellow students before taking his own life. I usually take little interest in these kinds of gruesome tragedies, but this one fascinated me. The more I delved into Cho's background, the more I could relate. For such a heinous crime, little is known about the exact motives even though on the day of his killing spree Cho mailed a videotape and written message to NBC. The 45-minute videotape shows an obviously deranged man with an incoherent message. I believe I offer a unique perspective on Cho and his motives.
His violence speaks louder than his ramblings, so we search for clues with his victims. His first victim, an 18-year-old female freshman, apparently had no previous contact with Cho. Yet her slaughter is the best clue to Cho's ultimate motivations. His next victim just happened on the scene. The 30 other deaths in classrooms on the other side of campus were Cho merely upping the body count to make as big a statement as possible. The first victim represents what Cho could never have: a beautiful girlfriend. Actually, he was unable to have any girlfriend. At least two women reported that Cho had stalked them. His actions show that what most bothered him was his inability to have a girlfriend.
The most interesting facts about Cho and his family
come from
an interview with his great aunt in South Korea by the online edition
of the UK newspaper The Daily Mirror.
[Great aunt] Yang-Sun revealed the eight-year-old [Cho] was diagnosed as autistic soon after his family emigrated to the US. She said: "He was very quiet and only followed his mother and father around and when others called his name he just answered yes or no but never showed any feelings or emotions.… Soon after they got to America his mother was so worried about his inability to talk she took him to hospital and he was diagnosed as autistic.… They had no time or money to look after his special problem even though they knew he was autistic." [1]
Even though the US media ignored or downplayed this aspect, I believe he was autistic. It takes one to know one. He was probably a high functioning autistic or may have had its milder form, Asperger's syndrome. Autism tends one towards passivity rather than violence, thus, autism alone did not cause this crime. There are virtually no other cases of autistics committing murder and none regarding mass murder. However, autistics often act out in frustration when they cannot express their feelings any other way.
He certainly could not express himself since he had selective mutism. Even in college he could not speak in class. Most selective mutism is based on shyness and is a symptom of a social anxiety disorder, and this certainly seems like Cho's case. Coming to the United States at age eight with its foreign culture and language no doubt greatly contributed to his mutism. Although people may claim he only suffered from shyness and selective mutism, these two conditions easily hide mild autism. My parents to this day believe that I am only shy and don't have Asperger's syndrome. Both Cho and I were intelligent and performed well academically, which often makes teachers and parents unconcerned about social issues. Like my parents, Cho's parents probably assumed he would grow out of it. I suggest that his mild autism may have prevented any treatment for his selective mutism from working.
By being both shy and on the autism spectrum, he was at high risk of developing love-shyness. Looking to his parents gives additional indications of this. The Daily Mirror article states that Cho's mother was 29 and his father was 39 when they married. His great aunt claims, '[Cho's father] was very serious and quiet... He was not very sociable…' With his parents as old as they were when married, likely both had problems in the romantic arena. I have no doubt Cho was love-shy, which may be the major reason for his first victim, for not being able to express his problem and for not being able to do anything about it.
However, love-shyness overwhelmingly does not lead to violence either. So, there must be a reason for his psychosis causing him to commit mass murder. If he was merely autistic and love-shy, he would have been like many love-shys who live their days in quiet desperation. At their worst, love-shys will commit suicide but not murder. Yet, few love-shys had it as hard as Cho. Coming from an Asian country to the US is a shock for anyone, since Asian cultures tend to be noticeably shier than US culture.
One older American love-shy shared in a personal correspondence the reason he thought he became love-shy. After his parents converted to Judaism when he was 13, his family moved to Israel to live on a kibbutz, a type of commune common in Israel. It was bad enough that this shy boy moved to a strange culture, likely the least shy of any on the planet. But, the small community his family joined was tight knit, and the other children knew each other since birth. He, like Cho, was the ultimate outsider, an ostracized outcast, and had no opportunity to build up social self-esteem. His parents likely did not support him enough since he describes them as, "My father was abusive, and my mother was indifferent and distant.… [My father] was the classic aggressive, assertive, alpha male and was not able to grasp my sensitive emotional makeup." Uprooting a shy, socially struggling child and placing him in an even more demanding situation will lead to disaster.
Cho likely received insufficient sympathy and support at home. His parents were quite busy as hardworking immigrants. They likely did not have enough resources, both financial and emotional, to help with his autism and mutism. Native parents have enough problems navigating the educational and medical support world, so one can imagine the hurdles Cho's parents faced when trying to seek appropriate help for him. His parents' Korean upbringing may have exacerbated his problems. Psychology professor Paul T. P. Wong claims, '[Cho] came from a shame-based Korean culture, where parents tend to keep quiet about family problems and avoid getting help from social and mental health agencies…' [2] On top of all these issues, Wong states, 'Cho was…overshadowed by an academically superior sister…' I too had a academically high achieving sibling. If my parents are any indication, Cho's parents ignored or downplayed his autism and other issues, adding an extra wallop to his problems. Too bad Cho's parents hide from the media and never made a public comment. Any family that allows a boy to become a man without treating his selective mutism suggests abuse similar to my experience.
I suggest bullying created his psychosis leading to mass murder. Bullying is a sad fact of life, and with both genders it is part of the competitive instinct to rise to the top of social hierarchies by putting others down. Bullies have their own psychological problems where they have to put down others to feel good about themselves. Bullies usually pick on the weak to have little fear of reprisal or harm to themselves. As a shy autistic non-native minority who barely spoke, Cho was the supreme bully victim.
While many children get bullied occasionally, Cho was bullied constantly throughout his schooling. Do you think he received any proper counseling or treatment for bullying while in school? Doubtful, considering any help he did receive would likely have focused on his other conditions. Jessie Klein, a sociology/criminology professor, asserts that her 'research has traced bullying as a cause of almost every school shooting to date.' [3] Asperger's syndrome expert Dr. Tony Attwood cites a 2002 study by Little showing that those with Asperger's are at least four times more likely to be victims of bullying (p.98). [4] Unfortunately, these bully victims with Asperger's do not know what to do about it. Attwood finds that 'children with Asperger's syndrome tend to solve academic and social problems on their own; asking for guidance and help from another person may not be considered as a solution to the problem of being a target for bullying' (p.100). Attwood identified other signs when a person with Asperger's is a continuous target of bullying. 'There can be a change in the special interests, from relatively benign topics…to an interest in weapons, the martial arts and violent films, especially films with a theme of retribution' (p.101). Cho was apparent influenced by a violent South Korean vengeance movie. Attwood also mentions how bullying can exacerbate problems of Asperger's and often Aspies have problems with anger management.
I feel that Cho and I were eerily similar. I believe we were both shy, intelligent, love-shy and had an autism spectrum disorder that went undiagnosed and untreated. I remember having problems speaking in front of class. Fortunately, I was bullied very little. Yet, the combination of my undiagnosed and untreated Asperger's and love-shyness caused me to get fired for violating the company's workplace violence rules. Luckily, I never physically hurt anyone. I can easily extrapolate my frustrations, depressions, despair, loneliness and suicidal and violent thoughts into Cho's level of mass murder.
He was so far gone that he could not accept help. I recall a few times when a friend tried to help me by introducing me to groups and friends, I reacted negatively. While I didn't totally reject the help, it generated negative feelings. If a close friend produced this negative reaction from me, I can see how hard a time Cho would have had accepting help from strangers, such as from caring teacher. Yet, Cho was not stupid. He seemed to sense that he had no way out from his combination of autism spectrum disorder, love-shyness, selective mutism and bully induced psychosis. So he did what seemed logical to him; become a martyr to make others aware of his problems, even if he couldn't express his motivation coherently.
Although Cho could not accept help, little help was available. I experienced significant frustration seeking help, since no available therapy treats love-shyness nor would anyone confront my parents about their not accepting my autism spectrum condition. A judge ordered psychiatric treatment for Cho, but as with me, authorities could not delve deeper and discover what most troubled us: love-shyness.
The years of abuse boys like Cho suffered can presumably best be alleviated by intimate female contact. Unfortunately, that which they most require is most out of reach. Instead of punishing stalkers, these men need therapies and instructions for them to have normal relationships. Too bad such therapies don't exist. If we as a society have only a “survival of the fittest” mentality regarding mating and do not offer explicit romantic and sexual training to the small minority who need it to allow them to date at all, then we should never be surprised when otherwise decent men act out.
I differ from Cho in that I wasn't bullied, have a spirituality based grounding, understand my situation and am committed to overcoming it.
So, yes, a shy mildly autistic person without a supportive environment can commit mass murderer. To prevent future tragedies, professionals need to understand the problems facing love-shys and offer appropriate help. Ideally, Cho's bloody message during Autism Awareness Month will spread cognizance of the problems of autism, love-shyness and bullying.
Perhaps I look at Cho's case and only see what I want to see. However, if my remote armchair analysis is correct, then my book would have come closest to saving him. At least it would have given him hope. While this book was not available to help Cho, ideally it will prevent similar tragedies. Hopefully, people will have the vigilance and foresight and care enough to give this book to any love-shy who requires it.
Autism advocates may dislike me portraying one of their own as
a murderer. However, they miss my point. My point is not that
autism helped caused this tragedy, but the failure to deal with his
autism and his related conditions—both at home and at school—made it
almost inevitable.
REFERENCES:
[1] Brough, G. (2007) Son of a Bitch. London: The Daily Mirror.
[3] Klien, J. (2007) Bully Rage: Common School-Shooter Misery. Washington, DC: Huffington Post.
[4] Attwood,
T. (2006) The
Complete Guide to Asperger’s Syndrome.
London: Jessica Kingsley Publishers.
