Scientific Proof of Love-Shyness
Dr. Gilmartin performed an excellent comprehensive scientific study of love-shyness and presented the results in his book Shyness & Love (1987) and in academic journals. He studied 200 love-shy male college students, 100 older (middle aged) love-shy men, and a control group of 200 non-shy college men. He took his subjects from three different college campuses in the US. He conclusively found an unique discernible syndrome.
Unfortunately, no academic ever followed up to verify Gilmartin's results. Since love-shys are so invisible and passive, performing a significant study of them is an enormous undertaking. Various academics and others have put forth their own ideas regarding sexual anxiety problems, such as erotophobia, sexual avoidance syndrome and sexual phobias. While these researchers find some kind of sexual phobia exists, the subtly and various forms of it have resisted nailing down a definition. Sexual phobias still receive no mention in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders. Worse, typical sex clinicians and researchers do not focus on singles, only sexual dysfunction among couples.
I produced a minimally scientific love-shy survey that not only verified Gilmartin's research but showed the existence of love-shy women. More importantly, I point out to the world that thousands of men already identify themselves as love-shy. Proof of their existence can be found on love-shy discussion forums. There are over 2,500 members of the Yahoo loveshy_drgilmartin group. While not all members are love-shy, the vast majority of them are or know someone who is. The title of the group leaves little confusion as to what the group is for, and its members agree they fit Gilmartin's description.
The vast majority of these members only found these discussion groups and the concept of love-shyness by doing an internet search of their symptoms or from links on Wikipedia or other love-shy related webpages. Of course, self-diagnosis and Googling symptoms are not concrete evidence. Yet, all it takes is joining one of the forums and reading the posts and life stories of the members to show that we exist and need help.
If you think about studying love-shys and other involuntary celibates, think about incorporating proposed treaments.
