Shyness and Social Anxiety
Shyness itself is not classified as a psychological disorder. Technically there's nothing wrong with being shy as long as you are happy. But, I believe it presents a major hurdle to getting what you want in life. Working to overcome your shyness in all other aspects of your life plays a part in vanquishing your love-shyness.
However, even after being generally not shy anymore—I can speak professionally in front of hundreds of people—I still am love-shy. While many people are shy, few shys claim that shyness significantly interferes with their romantic lives (according to this excellent, up to date, complete book on shyness), and still fewer suffer from love-shyness.
When I and other recommended authors tell love-shys to overcome their shyness and related traits, we are not asking you to change your essence. You are introverted with a low anxiety threshold and probably always will be. But the nervousness with social situations can be overcome. Shyness tends to mask love-shyness.
Shyness also camouflages Asperger's syndrome and other mild forms of autism. Because I excelled academically in school and didn't get into trouble, my social problems were chalked up to shyness. Shyness compounds autism spectrum problems because a person with both is often in doubt whether he or she is holding back in social situations because of social anxiety or because of not comprehending what's going on and what to do. The combination of shyness and autism spectrum disorders has not been investigated by academics, perhaps because shyness competes with Asperger's as a label.
Psychologists having Social Anxiety Disorder as an official diagnosis has positive and negative implications for love-shys. It is good that clinicians understand that social anxiety is a real problem and that there are drugs available for it. Unfortunately, therapists will classify love-shyness as social anxiety, and the prescribed drugs may not help much, especially with love-shyness. Love-shys need to ask themselves if they are anxious in various social situations or just during romantic or potentially romantic times.
A few love-shys may also have Avoidant Personality Disorder.
Possibly Helpful Shyness and Social Anxiety Websites
The
Shyness Reading List
Shy and Free
How to
do better socially
Shake
Your Shyness
Social
Anxiety Support
